9
Oct
Wtf, Ryu. You’re the first Korean to serve as a starting pitcher of a Major League Baseball postseason game. You’re helping to lead Los Doyers to their first World Series win since 1988. Yet you walk around L.A. dressed as Tubby Soft-Squeeze. If Hotwife weren’t a Dodger fan, I’d toast you over an open flame. 
PS: Your face is as big as mine. Almost. 

Wtf, Ryu. You’re the first Korean to serve as a starting pitcher of a Major League Baseball postseason game. You’re helping to lead Los Doyers to their first World Series win since 1988. Yet you walk around L.A. dressed as Tubby Soft-Squeeze. If Hotwife weren’t a Dodger fan, I’d toast you over an open flame. 

PS: Your face is as big as mine. Almost. 

7
Oct
According to the Slow Food Foundation, five traditional South Korean foods are in danger of extinction, including this ghoulish Ogye Chicken—which is completely black from feathers to bones. Not sure what the big deal is. Food has been disappearing in North Korea since the 1980s.
And what’s “Slow Food?” Is that it’s called when the U.S. takes fer-ever to send us rations? 

According to the Slow Food Foundation, five traditional South Korean foods are in danger of extinction, including this ghoulish Ogye Chicken—which is completely black from feathers to bones. Not sure what the big deal is. Food has been disappearing in North Korea since the 1980s.

And what’s “Slow Food?” Is that it’s called when the U.S. takes fer-ever to send us rations? 

4
Oct
The Busan International Film Festival, hosted by South Korea, is the most significant film event in Asia. It has a production budget in the millions. And they kick off Opening Night with this shit? Somewhere, in Busan, a prop list reads: one satin sheet, two Asians, and a flashlight. I mean, seriously.
Meanwhile, in Pyongyang….

The Busan International Film Festival, hosted by South Korea, is the most significant film event in Asia. It has a production budget in the millions. And they kick off Opening Night with this shit? Somewhere, in Busan, a prop list reads: one satin sheet, two Asians, and a flashlight. I mean, seriously.

Meanwhile, in Pyongyang….

26
Sep
Yeah, yeah, a gay wedding in South Korea. Weeee! Fun.
These guys think they’re all that and a bag of chips for throwing the wedding of the year—a concert spectacle that boasted multiple costume changes, celebs, musical vows, a choir, and flying food. Bitches, please. That describes my daily lunch break.
Separately, if my spouse were 20 years younger than me, that would make her five. But I digress…

Yeah, yeah, a gay wedding in South Korea. Weeee! Fun.

These guys think they’re all that and a bag of chips for throwing the wedding of the year—a concert spectacle that boasted multiple costume changes, celebs, musical vows, a choir, and flying food. Bitches, please. That describes my daily lunch break.

Separately, if my spouse were 20 years younger than me, that would make her five. But I digress…

25
Sep
So, China is on my shit-list because they’ve recently published a long-ass list of items they will no longer be exporting to North Korea for fear that I will use their goods to beef up my missile defense. The list includes ebola because—didn’t you know?—NoKos are just creaming for ebola-laced care packages. Other banned items include nickel powder, radium, flash X-ray generators, microwave antennas, and live animal key chains. 
My country’s relationship with China is so complicated it makes Ike and Tina look like a breeze, so I ain’t gonna trip over this one tiny blip. That said: Yo, China, what gives? Your zoo recently swapped a lion for a dog, and hoped no one would notice. And you’re judging me for making bombs? Sayin.

So, China is on my shit-list because they’ve recently published a long-ass list of items they will no longer be exporting to North Korea for fear that I will use their goods to beef up my missile defense. The list includes ebola because—didn’t you know?—NoKos are just creaming for ebola-laced care packages. Other banned items include nickel powder, radium, flash X-ray generators, microwave antennas, and live animal key chains

My country’s relationship with China is so complicated it makes Ike and Tina look like a breeze, so I ain’t gonna trip over this one tiny blip. That said: Yo, China, what gives? Your zoo recently swapped a lion for a dog, and hoped no one would notice. And you’re judging me for making bombs? Sayin.